A good friend of mine sent me a riddle:
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a ‘drop off’ (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
This was my reply: Wake up from your nightmare as soon as possible.
Her reply to that: Real answer: get off the merry-go-round at once!
I then asked: BUT WHY WAS I ON IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Her reply: Ah! Only you know that.
And my answer to that: That’s life. But I prefer to call it a roller-coaster: EILEEN Look, there’s a lot wrong with this world of ours. There always has been. There always will be. But there’s an awful lot right as well, isn’t there? You’ve just got to ride that roller-coaster between the two. And try not to fall off.
Now a little story.
Miriam Margolyes, that well known actress and a family friend of many years standing, came to the rehearsed reading of Death of a Nightingale. I invited criticisms of the play and she was forthcoming. I was not greatly pleased when she criticised the characterisation of those involved. But it did have the benefit that it provoked me to think a bit more about the roller-coaster that Margaret Williamson, the head teacher, had been on before she fell off, when she tried to take her own life.
Was it just, as I had thought, the awful realisation that she had let the school down, let her pupils down, let the parents down, yes, let herself down when she succumbed to pressure from the local education authority to argue to parents the case for the closure of her school to further the policy of Inclusion. Was it just that she felt no more than “a lump of plasticine” in their hands? Was that the reason?
Maybe there was more to it than that? Margaret Williamson had shared her personal agony with her partner, Joan Errington. She suddenly thought about resigning as a way out. Joan said that that would be self-indulgent. There was a tiff and they parted company. I had not thought about the 24 hours between that tiff and Margaret trying to take her life. Those 24 long hours! I added this short dialogue.
Act Two Scene 3
Eileen Winterton, chair of governors, badly wanted to understand why Margaret Williamson, the head teacher, had tried to take her own life. She thought Joan Errington would be the best person to tell her. She invited Joan to a local coffee house for a chat.
JOAN ERRINGTON I guess so. I must go. (Stands up to leave) …….You know, I’ve just really seen it. It wasn’t the pills that kept her going. It wasn’t me either. It was the kids, and she did so worry about the world they’d have to grow up in. She knew, you see, she knew. In those twenty four long hours she suddenly realised that whatever she did, do the bidding of the LEA or resign, whatever she did, she’d lost everything that made her life worthwhile.
(Eileen also stands up to leave)
EILEEN WINTERTON Of course, you’re right. That was her despair. Thank you for your time. I do appreciate it.
JOAN ERRINGTON Oh, I don’t like my world at the moment one little bit.
EILEEN WINTERTON Look, there’s a lot wrong with this world of ours. There always has been. There always will be. But there’s an awful lot right as well, isn’t there? You’ve just got to ride that roller-coaster between the two. And try not to fall off.
JOAN ERRINGTON I suppose so. See you again soon. Bye.
If you read “Death of a Nightingale”, or better still come to see it at the New End Theatre in Hampstead next March it may provoke you to think again about some assumptions you have made, not least whether life is just a merry-go-round or a roller-coaster. There is a difference.
And you may also ask yourself why 176 children between the ages of 10 and 14 committed suicide last year, and maybe 1,000 or more attempted to do so. By the way, the number of suicides mentioned in the BBC report may be less than the actual number as coroners prefer not to bring in a finding of suicide to save the feelings of the family and society generally. That is one reason why the true facts are hard to come by.
Just what was the nature of their despair? In very many cases, as the BBC report states, it was bullying. (Visit Post 11 “Bullying defeated” Where did Mr.Aaronovitch get that idea?)
Again benefitting from the rehearsed reading of the play at the New End Theatre last November this is the new ending to the play that was not present in the original version.
Closing Scene
Bulldozer continues its demolition, and sounds continue for a full minute. Time for quiet contemplation. Tracy is a pupil at Brighouse School, and “Death of a Nightingale” is her story about her school.
TRACY Remember the little white dandelion heads blowing away in the wind. Well, a couple of weeks ago, in the next street to mine, a boy of twelve – I think he was a bit overweight – well, he tried to take his own life. Thank you for coming to listen to my story.
Can I leave you with a really naughty thought to take home with you? There are some little creatures that build and defend their own nests but they cannot move on and they cannot do anything else. That’s what they do. They build and defend their own nests. That’s all they do That’s all they’ve ever done. That’s all they’ll ever do. There is a name for them. “Termites”, yes “Termites.”
If there are any of them here tonight, let them go to their beds and sleep peacefully … if they can. Good night.
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